Have you ever looked at your friends relationships and thought “I want that”? Not in a jealous way but almost like a longing, like you know you’re missing out but you dont have the faintest idea how to get from where you are to where they are?
I have so many friends like this. Couples that just adore each other and have a near fairy tale level of relationship. I watch them with an ache in my soul for the love they share and adoration they have for each other.
They are the exceptions, not the rules. Or at least that’s my take on it. I also have a good many friend couples that struggle daily and fight to even like each other or at least seem to. Like being together and being miserable is somehow better than being alone. I think they are far more normal than the fairy tale couples. At best I think most of us can hope to achieve tolerance. I think that’s a good portion of my roadblocks in achieving any sort of relationship with anyone. Im pretty damned happy alone and certainly not scared to stay that way.
The Unicorn, who I know Ive mentioned before in this blog, just tried to make his fourth return in a decade. Im still “the one that go away” even though he keeps letting me go. At least this time it didnt send me into a tailspin. Mostly I just got irritated. He wants to meet for drinks. I doubt I’ll show. Im tired of the games, theyre not entertaining anymore. I deserve better and dont need that half ass attention anymore. Look at me go! It’s only taken 40 years to get here!
Weird that Ive always named the guys who made and impression and had an impact after mythical creatures. Wonder if that says something about them or about me?
In other news Im still pursuing school or some sort of retraining. I think bartending has run it’s course and it’s time to move on to something more financially stable. This struggle to pay bills is getting old. No idea what Im going to get into yet. I cant afford to get into most of the things I’d really like to do so I’ll probably end up at some crappy retail management gig. At least it’ll be a steady paycheque.
On the world front Canada is leading a revolution of sorts in the form of a trucker convoy headed to Ottawa in an attempt to sway Trudeau from his vaccine mandate. I doubt it will work, he’s too proud to back down, but the effort they’re putting in is impressive. Personally Im tired of this covid thing. We need to just die or move on with our lives. This half ass “deadly plague’ nonsense is exhausting in all ways.
Not much else is new. Still maintaining a positive focus and Im learning to put a positive spin on a lot of stuff that probably would have bummed me out. There’s a good side to pretty much everything, sometimes it’s just a bit of work to find it.
Heartache, hiccups and hope 