This is going to be another one of those all over the map type posts sort of like my brain, trying to manage a lot of plates in the air right now. Hope I dont start dropping them.
Had a lovely friend come see me at work, probably the only person who actually checks to see if any of the numerous rumours about me are true. We had a good laugh at the latest batch. He got caught up on my projects and situations and left with a hug and full permission to feed into the rumour mill the most outlandish stuff he could come up with. Im not concerned about the opinions of people whose lives are so small that I am a famous figure in them. I expect to hear Im having bigfoots baby or something similar in the near future. If nothing else it’s always good for a laugh.
Himself came down for saturday night. He seems to be doing that almost every weekend now and I feel like Im way behind on my turns to drive up to him. He’s always a riot to hang out with. Played some darts, drank some drinks, he got to meet some friends and he left sunday morning, like I always do his house, at the ass crack of dark. We’re very good at the going to bed with each other portion, neither of us has quite figured out the waking up together part. Im hesitant to disrupt what’s worked for over a decade but he’s very special to me. Always has been and probably always will be. I hope he doesnt start dating anyone soon. Im growing rather attached to his company this time. It’s a comfortable sort of attached rather than the hyper excited type. Im not sure what to make of it but Im just letting it happen as it will and trying really hard not to overthink the whole thing.
The legal system, at least from the courthouse end, has finally had enough of my hell raising and is now starting to investigate the disparity between paperwork that is filed and signed into action by a judge and what that all states should be happening and police response and follow through. Or complete and total lack of response at all. That fight is finally gaining some traction. Hopefully some changes can get made so that people who breach conditions and break significant rules consistently can face some kind of real consequence like they’re supposed to. Not just empty threats and blustering. Our legal system is a joke and those that abuse it know that. Someone has to take a stand. Ive got time. May as well be me. I should say may as well be “us” since my disgust seems to be spreading to others with way worse stories than my own and they too are taking the fight to the legal system from a whole bunch of angles. Even the RCMP is involved at this point which is mind blowing. It’s kind of nice not to have to fight a battle this big on my own. Im not scared the dragon will show up anymore. I dont even think about him doing that now. If he comes then he comes, I hope he’s at least quick about it. He wont be able to so much as blink in my vicinity without being caught on multiple cameras so if nothing else he’ll get caught and maybe finally get locked up. Im so tunnel vision focused right now there’s no room for feelings on the subject. This system will change. No person should be left on their own against such a clear threat. Especially not when all the systems are (apparently) in place to prevent those exact situations but nothing is being handled properly. Not one bit of this was handled properly by CPS. And my situation wasnt even bad. I cant imagine what these women who get beat on regularly deal with.
As part of my domestice violence research Ive been speaking to a bunch of women or are absolutely amazing survivors. It’s incredible what people can bounce back from. These women are tougher than I have ever been or ever will be and now they have a mutual goal. I wouldnt want to be on the receiving end of their wrath. These women have had broken bones, hospital stays, you name it. It raises a lot of questions about who is raising these abusive men and where they’re coming from. There doesnt seem to be any sort of socioeconomic correlation so Im struggling to figure out why some men turn out abusive and others dont. I suppose it’s much like serial killers etc. The wiring is just wrong.
Gotta wonder if, like a consistently biting dog, it wouldnt just be better to put them down and be done with it. Abusers and pedophiles. I’d happily pull the trigger myself. Think of the lives it would save, not just physically but mentally and the trickle down effect from that in terms of medical costs etc. All the kids that could grow up without that trauma. The generational burdens that would be stopped cold. All at the expense of a less than five cent bullet.
Something to think about anyway.
Im loving the women Im starting to surround myself with. They’re so strong, so resilient and just amazing, loving people. It’s taken me a lifetime to sort out what I need in my world but Im getting there. Im learning that I like to have people better than me around me. Smarter, stronger, more stable and saner. Women who bring something to the table. We’re doing a cookie exchange for Christmas so Ive got a pile of cookies to bake beyond the couple hundred I just baked that either Himself took home or I fed the bar regulars. It’s really nice to have adult projects that dont involve drinking or drugs. Im outgrowing the party life at a speed I never thought possible. Even with Himself I have a drink or two and switch to water. It wasnt even a conscious choice. I just have finally had enough of the brutal hangovers my old ass gets every single time I try and party. On the other end Ive been having a lot of fun with weed edibles although they dont seem to last very long and Ive purchased a weed pen again although I have yet to use it. I love that there is no such thing as a hangover from cannabis.
And it makes me giggle like a child so that’s always fun.
Im excited to host an Orphans Christmas for all those that dont have family! Ive got a bunch of people coming for a big turkey dinner and board games/darts etc that dont have family to celebrate with. Im more excited to cook that much food than have a pile of people in my little house but we’ll see how it goes. As usual Ive gone way overboard and gotten everyone stockings and such because…why not? It’s Christmas time!
Ive finally acquired a treadmill again. It came with an exercise bike that I’ll probably never use. Between the treadmill and the yoga app I paid for Im hopefully going to start trimming down this old lady fat. If not I at least need to work on my flexibility. My hip flexors are pathetic. After a visit from Himself I can barely walk and that just isnt acceptable. Im getting too old to keep up with these young bucks but Im going to try! It’s too much fun just to pack in that towel and take up knitting.
I dont suppose Ive got much more to report but I wanted to get down the good stuff so when I go back and read this in the future I can remember it wasnt all bad. My life is really pretty amazing. Ive made it that way.
Love and light ❤