Monkeys everywhere!

Well, it’s been a minute since Ive been on here and a lot has happened. Almost all of it good. My life is humming away in a fabulous fashion still but I think I need to catch up here just so I have a record of it all in the future.

Not much new to report. Ive made a bunch of new friends as I tend to do pretty often. Im good at that end of it. Not so good at the friendship maintenance but Im ok with how that usually goes too. Im finding that every group seems to be an upgrade from the one before. This new group and I have the most interesting conversations. Deep, intelligent conversations about the fall of society and the nature of life and the soul and existence. I cant remember the last time I actually got to talk to people who had interesting view points on things that actually matter. Or conversed with people who actually wanted to hear what I had to say and had valid counterpoints, or were willing to hear my counterpoints. These conversations last hours and it’s glorious to feel heard and listened to and to have discussions that are well thought out and reasoned. It’s been too long since Ive been called out on my thought process to where Ive had to flex my brain a bit. Im absolutely loving it.

Himself took me out of town for a weekend. It was fun but I dont think I’d go again. It just seemed overly expensive for what we experienced. We could have done all that at home. I think Im getting bored with the sex again as sad as that makes me. The whole situation is just kinda getting old and, now having met this new group of people, Im fully processing that it really is just sex. Himself and I barely even have anything to talk about other than him coaching me on how to adult which is also getting old but it’s the only way we’ve really interacted so we seem stuck in a rut. I also crushed pretty hard, briefly, on a new guy. If I was really into Himself that would never have happened. I know that. We’ll see what happens in the next little while but I feel like necessary changes are coming.

DV research got put on hold for a bit but Im getting back to it now. I got sidetracked briefly looking into mental health and castle laws in Alberta and Canada as a whole. There’s really not much of either. Bare minimum of mental health help and no castle law. That all spawned from an absolute nutcase at work deciding to destroy my car while it was in the parking lot and being made aware that if I defended my property I would be in the wrong and I would get arrested. Having had to wait for over 20 minutes for cops to arrive Ive decided if that same chick appears again we’re going to have a talk before cops get called. Saying she “destroyed’ my car is a bit dramatic. She beat up the drivers door with a iceball and tried to key the whole car with a rock. It was enough though. And the cops response of “just pay my deductable on my insurance” just fueled my disgust.

Once again CPS proves they’re not worth the damn time it takes to pick up a phone. I feel like if I say next time that someone has a weapon they might take it seriously. We’ll see how it goes. It’s bound to happen again. the homeless, addict and crazy population in this city is out of control.

Speaking of addicts, the dragon is in jail and has been for weeks. He breached again on one of his myriad of EPO’s/restraining orders, not sure which one. Not mine, thank goodness. Not sure why his probation hasnt been revoked at this point or what he needs to do to get it revoked. I hope they keep him for at least the 120 days he was supposed to get on the first set of breaches. I’ll have to make some calls and see what I can do to make sure everyone who knows about him knows he’s locked up currently and does what they can from their various positions in court, police, probations and victims services to make sure he faces some kind of longer term consequences, or even just real consequences at this point. He’s gotten away with the behaviour for far too long.
At least now he’ll be clean. While he’s in there. I have no faith that he’ll stay that way but small victories still count. On the upside my guard came so far down that I wasnt even locking my gates. Like I said, small victories, and the peace I feel knowing he is locked up is lovely and calming.

On his family front, rumour reached me that his loving mother was running around gloating to her friends that I was going to get stuck with the impound fees for the truck. I messaged her and assured her I was not and to please stop saying as much. She proceeded to tell me I was crazy like his baby momma with whom I am apparently best friends. That would be their worst case scenario so of course they’d think that. I cant roll my eyes hard enough. It’s fascinating to me how delusional you have to believe that anyone who opposes you must be crazy. I’ll take it. I own my crazy. I dont know if they’ll go after her for the fees. I dont care. But they’re not coming after me, not after I forwarded copies of the bill of sale with her name on it. I hope they do pursue it. I feel like she needs to learn a lesson to that bailing out her adult son constantly isnt helping anyone including him. Enabling at it’s finest.
Ah well, not my monkeys not my circus anymore.

I had a whole couple weeks where I doubted my cutting off of his sister and debated at least trying to talk to her. Then her neighbour came into work and told me stories about the fights the sister and her piece of shit boyfriend have, apparently full on knock down affairs, and I was once again happy with my decision. I value my peace too much now. Apparently police are involved in that too which means child services is also involved. She’s going to have to choose for real between the man and her children. I hope she makes the right choice but I just dont know if she will and that breaks my heart.
Also not my monkeys. Although I am torn between that and it takes a village. There are kids involved, I do think about it more than I’d like.

Really not much else has changed, hence why it’s been a minute. I like this quiet life Im leading. I like the peace Ive found and the contentment with who I am. I used to look for the lighthouse in the storm. I am the lighthouse now. And Im the storm.

And I love both sides of myself.


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